Coming Presidential Election Cycle

One thing we can all dread, is the coming Presidential Election Cycle.

Anywhere you go, people seem fed up with politics. I can remember when there was excitement in the air back when "Slick Willie" Bill Clinton was in office and after realizing that he was pretty much the same old Washington carpetbagger using the White House as a Whorehouse and a Fund Raising Office (and his wife was lusting for power), and the Republicans made an incredible surge forward under Newt Gingrich and eventually took Congress and the White House - that was excitement and that's the last time anyone had a plan that made sense.

Then George Bush came into office and everything seemed to go south for the GOP. The war is a huge mess. Everyone agrees and the public is dead set fed up with it. It's not cut and run at this point, its cutting our own throats and running in circles like a chicken with its head cut off. It's embarrassing. It's pathetic. It's why the GOP lost Congress to begin with.

It's going to be hard for any Republican to run along a record like Bush's. The GOP's only saving grace is that the Nation thinks less of Pelosi, Reid, Kennedy, Gore and the band of lunatics in the Democratically controlled Congress; everyone agrees that they are worse for America long term than Bush and the lackluster GOP hacks . Every time Pelosi opens her mouth, you can hear the sound of a cash register ringing - cha ching - and the GOP filling its coffers. With all the material that Bush supplies them daily by being himself, they can barely mount an offense. Pathetic creatures.

Back to 2008, today both sides of the aisle are suffering from decent candidates. It's worse than pathetic: Clinton, Obama, Nader, Guilani, Thompson, Edwards, and the rest of the gang are about as stale and boring as it gets. Let's break them down for you here:

Hillary Clinton: Electing her would be Satan's gift to the world. Bitchy, whiny, power mongering pain the ass with a feminazi twist on everything. God help the United States if such a person were ever elected to the White House. Her antics of pretending to be a New Yorker and then switching back to a Southern twang when in front of the Southern Crowd is about as phony and sick as it gets. Yet, no one calls her on it because they are terrified of her. And because the media goobers all love her. And so would every Middle Eastern Terrorist organization. She's a clueless, power-hungry twit. She'd do anything to get elected, just ask Vince Foster. Oh, that's right, you can't. Hmmm. The bead and sandles crowd will be at her beckon call - you watch.

Barack Obama: Yeah right. Everyone in their right mind knows he unelectable. He bucks the establishment way too much - even most Democrats understand that we can't negotiate directly with terrorist states - and I got a kick out of Hillary Clinton eluding to Edwards (caught on camera) that Obama (and the rest of the field) wasn't a real candidate. She's right. But since she changes accents to suit her audience... she's not a real person either. Obama and Usama... that's the connection everyone will make. America isn't electing a Muslim named black guy to the White House. Sorry. Call us in 200 years, and maybe then he might have a chance. Again, the media loves this guy.

Fred Thompson: Funny, witty and charming. A big fat politician that made his way to Television who everyone likes. No charisma, no energy, and no platform. Is he running or just acting. Fred, stay in acting please.

Ralph Nader (or his repetitive ghost). The only people who like Ralph Nader like to buck the world. Sleeps at people's homes during election campaigning, and pretty much spends all of his free time collecting signatures for the next Presidential Campaign Cycle. Very few people really think electing Ralph Nader to the Presidency is a good idea - even if it were in a "made for TV movie". The only thing good about Nader in the race is that he tends to embarrass the other Democrats in the field.

Chris Dodd: Connecticut's own tedious Senator. Again, no charisma. His high point was battling Bill O'Reilly on television. For a guy that's been in there for all of his professional career, he's doesn't seem to have much to show for it. No favors, no energy, nothing. He probably wishes he was back with a certain television anchor or partying with Ted Kennedy. If it weren't for the unions, he'd be history in Connecticut too. In fact, I can't think of one single piece of legislation that distinguishes on the Hill. What have you done for that many years? Chris Dodd's run is nothing more than wasted energy.

John Edwards: Didn't he already make a run? What's he doing out there anyway? Another ambulance chaser in the field. Didn't 2004 tell him something? Uggh. Get out now, stop bickering with the press about your wife. You lost your Senate seat and your respectability. Time to go.

Dennis Kucinich: Bahaahahahahahahaahah. Need we say more. My God, at least look Presidential for at least five minutes, will ya?

Rudy Giuliani: Ok. Showed great stuff in NYC during 9-11. Quite a few skeletons in his closet. New Yorkers have a stigma that most Americans are appalled by. Rudy could be a sleeper, but even Italians don't want to see an Italian President. Not sure what that's about, but there seems to be some issue with all of this. I don't know, Rudy doesn't do it for me. Stay a hero of 9-11 and stay in the public sector.

John McCain: First, the man is a patriot, but he looks like death turned over. And from everything we know he has a major anger management problem. But if I were held in confinement for as long as he was, I'd probably have the same problem. McCain isn't liked in his own party. He's not able to rally the troops particularly when he works so often with the Democrats.

Sam Brownback: Who? Senator from Kansas. Stay in the Senate, you are too boring and mild mannered to sit in the White House. You are Chris Dodd's ghost in the GOP. He just doesn't have as many excuses as you do for not being able the rally the crowd or party support. Nice guys finish last. In your case, dead last. Stay in the Senate if you want to make a difference.

Mitt Romney: Just when you think you've found the next Reagan, he finds religion. A tough hurdle to overcome in states like NC, SC and GA where obscure Christian sects like Mormons and Catholics are deemed foreign and superstitious. He's the best of the entire field, but he'll be defending himself for the next 20 years.

Mike Huckabee: No offense Mike, but one clown from Arkansas for eight years surpasses the two century quota. We'll have to pass. What do you stand for anyway?

Yep, eight years of Bush is seven too many. If he had passed away just after 9-11, they would be putting statues up of him everywhere. Now he's the poster child for speech management classes around the globe. But sadly, his legacy is much to be desired.

I've never seen a group of rag tag wannabees forced on the American Public. And I didn't even hammer all of them.

So, jokes over now. Who's really running?