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Monday, February 6, 2012

Review: Linda's Story Infomercial

As promised, I'll be starting up our Connecticut Political Commercial/Infomercial Review series.  I'm sure this regular segment is one that everyone is looking forward to.  If not for any other reason, the very notion of The King tearing apart propaganda videos from our dear, wonderful, honest Connecticut politicians appeals to your darker side.  It's the same reason that you rush to the gossip column in the newspaper, read The Star in the checkout line, and scan the obituaries to see who's been offed.  HeHeHe!  While other news outlets and blogs print and air all the the worthless pre-fab, canned garbage that candidates want you to see and hear, we keep it real!  Look, I've said it before, and I'll say it again - all politicians are crud - even the nice ones.  We're just here to keep things honest, and entertaining in a drab, blue, barely contestable Nutmeg Stadt.

I'm sure you'll be astonished that I'm going to start my series with a review of Linda McMahon's latest infomercial Linda's Story.  As this series progresses, I may change the format and grading system, but for now, we'll stick with the basics and see how it goes.

First things first, check out the video yourself: 

Linda's Story: Propaganda that warms the Heart

I'll start by saying that it's clear that the infomercial is an attempt to improve McMahon's exceedingly poor poll numbers with women voters.  Odds are that the only way this could actually happen is if she had access to a time machine and went back and choose a different line of work.  It's not jealousy of her fame and fortune that has her in that tank with Nutmeg moms and dads - it's her so-called business background and the impalpable product she exports into homes each week.  Putting it nicely, scat wrapped up in a pretty box with a ribbon is still scat.

The video itself is somewhat disappointing.  First, I'm not sure what the deal is with the annoying piano music blaring in the background but after about 30 seconds I felt like I was sitting in a smoke-filled hotel lounge waiting for my vodka tonic to arrive which I'm sure would have helped get me through the rest of the video.  But seriously, the music is a huge distraction when you're trying to listen to her tell her story. 

Second, given that her profession includes television, video and story-telling, I was very surprised at how poorly the video was assembled - instead of a clean, clear story, we saw dozens of spliced sentences put together within the mini segments. Sometimes the spliced sentences were used to convey a basic premise.  Because the splices were so clearly visible, they made Linda's Story appear phony, and concocted.  We recognize this is an ad, but must appear to be so blatantly an ad?  Where is the smooth Linda McMahon who sometimes visits Town Committees?  She wasn't in this video. 

Segment Summary:

:00- :54:  Linda talks about her parents on the public payroll, and that she grew up in a modest setting. Explains that they taught her the value of hard work, etc.

:54 - 1:40: Talks about meeting  future husband Vince at Church during their High School years.  This segment is meant to give the appearance of a normal relationship between the two.  Note the number of spliced clips strung together; it must have taken several takes to keep a straight/happy face to film this fairytale - and get it right. The story about scrounging around for lose change and keeping it in a box  to accumulate enough coinage to see a movie is a bit weird, if not unbelievable How many coins did it take for two people to see a movie?  It made me wonder whether  she was raised in a modest household (as mentioned in the first sequence), or in poverty which caused her to scrounge for and save coins. The sequence ends with her telling us she's been married 45 years.  She certainly deserves credit for that given the statistics on divorce, and given the unfortunate death rate of wrestling superstars.

It's still a bit strange to see Vince used as a prop since he couldn't be bothered to take the time out of his schedule to do a bit of campaigning with her.  Some claim he's not involved due to the negatives associated with pro wrestling, but there may be other personal reasons which we will not go into here - other than to say this campaign is more of an expensive annoyance for him.

1:42 - 2:36  Talks about going to college with Vince and learning she was expectantly pregnant with Shane the day before graduation while she held no health insurance. Not sure whether his or her parents helped them out - as its not mentioned, but Vince McMahon Sr. was not poor. She then makes a joke about taking a year and a half to pay Shane off - saying she was afraid they might reclaim him.  Weird segment, plus she laughs at her own joke.  A bit of a no-no. Sort of backpedals at bit and gives the hospital credit for setting up a payment plan.  This section of the video was meant to help Linda appear to understand the issue regarding lack of healthcare coverage - which sort of makes me wonder where exactly she stands on this issue.  Is she an advocate for National Healthcare?  Or some form of it?  This segment may have the unintended consequence of zeroing in on a position she hasn't clearly discussed, doesn't it?  You do have to give her credit here for going out an getting a job six weeks after giving birth. Can't fault her for taking ownership.

2:37 -  3:11  Calls the WWE "a successful business venture".  Funny to hear it referred to that way.  She talks about going bankrupt, and was glad that happened early on.  This particular disclosure has caused opponents and critics to inquire about who got stuck with the unpaid bills, and if they were ever made whole after she became rich and famous. Clearly she's rich enough to spend mega-millions on Senate Campaigns.  Talks about feeling as though she was punched but not down and out - right, well that's because bankruptcy frees you from obligations from your creditors.  Pretty nifty strategy.

3:12 - 4:13: Works to close the sale.  She doesn't do this based on where she stands on specific issues, or by telling us what she'll do - but claims that Connecticut is looking for a different kind of representation - well, she's different, I'll give her that.  Sells the female pitch:  "I'm a mom, I've been a working mom, stay at home mom, grandmother."   She then says she has skills and attributes that others in the race don't have - but just like her position on policies, she never tells us what those special attributes are.  With Linda, you have to guess.  Oh wait - it's her business experience - which is unlike any business that any business-owner in Connecticut has ever seen.  There aren't too many circus owners in Connecticut.  Not sure how that translates for our industries here or even the small business owner.

She ends the segment by telling us, "Hopefully, I will be able to hear from the people of Connecticut - their stories, and understand how I can help them - when I'm in Washington."  This ending left me a bit empty.  And it goes back to voters primary complaint about Linda - she goes on listening tours, listens and smiles, however, everyone keeps asking the same questions:  WHAT SHE WOULD DO TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE IF ELECTED.  WHAT POLICIES WOULD SHE ENACT?  WHAT DOES SHE BELIEVE IN?

It's not about getting to Washington. It's about explaining to the People of Connecticut exactly what she would do if elected.  That's a mystery to all of us, and even to her delegate count.  And being "better than" Shays, Hill, Westby, Biesewicz, or Murphy is not an answer.  It's not even a start.


Audio:  The ridiculous piano playing is a distraction and is completely unnecessary.  Grade: C-

Video:  Clear and bright. Linda looks great in a blue blouse, but the clips all strung together made her story lack authenticity.  Splicing bits and pieces together really stuck out at us and reminded us that this was nothing more than a political infomercial.  Grade: C

Content:  There wasn't really much there.  I didn't come away stunned by a selling point that would make me want to jump up and vote for Linda.  There were a couple of interesting points about making mistakes, and rising up from a poor or modest means, but there are thousands of stories out there like that.  Even if true, it's not a reason to put Linda McMahon in the U.S. Senate.   The "if first you don't succeed, file bankruptcy " might create a mixed opinion of her particularly with creditors.  The sales pitch about being a mom, grandmother, etc was much too direct.   The closing line left me empty, and asking more questions about what she believes in - which is ever-absent in her interviews, campaign materials, and now - in her videos.  She also came across as having low energy; a sort of shadow of her Pro Wrestling persona.  Grade: D-

Summary:  The video wasn't the worst political commercial/infomercial that I've ever seen, but it was pretty bad. Linda aught to use the creative touch she has from the Wrestling Biz and put some energy, imagination, and sparkle into a message that sells. She might as well use some of that glitz because that's all she's got absent a coherent set of policy positions (of course she does have money).  And for this video if I were her, I'd ask for a refund.  Overall Grade: C-.



This original blog entry can be found at

Disclaimer: This entry and others will be modified/updated at a future date. All entries are for the sole purpose of entertainment.


Cheryl Wilson said...

Bring back the commercial with the two women driving ! Oh ya !

The King said...

I swear to g-d, I was thinking about those commercials tonight. They really helped! Especially when you see them 20x a day!

Wiseguy said...

Did Linda pay for this commercial with her money or from the turkeys that donated to her campaign? Hi I'm Linda McMahon and I dropped 50 Million on my last failed run for US Senate, could you donate to my campaign cuz Vince won't let me drop more than 5 Million this time. Guess Vince doesn't want to scrounge coins when he's 80 ! What a freakin joke her campaign is.

Linda McMillions said...

I'm Linda McMahon and I approved this crap !

Jim Peterson said...

Please Lord stop Linda from buying 24/7 commercials again, even my dog couldn't take sittin in front of the TV again. The Horror !

Jeannie Casella said...

Hey Mr King

I just found this blog and I have been reading it for the past two hours. Why doesn't the media cover some of what's going on that you write about? My eyes have been opened, I really had no clue about my Party. Thank you for all you do.

Jeannie Casella

RNM Republican said...


I just watched the Linda ad, ugg, please not again. Its very unsettling to see a woman with no experience say nothing about anything. Do you believe she sees what everyone else sees? Is Linda so obstinate not to understand that women don't believe in her? As a mother of 3 young children I cannot vote for this woman. Thank God Congressman Shays has entered the race. I will be volunteering to help him after the convention. Linda is all about what's wrong with America, she profited off of and helped usher in the moral decline of America.

Registered New Milford Republican

Anonymous said...

At least Linda buys American ! (State Reps, Mayors, State Central Members & RTC members that is)

Channel ( ? ) said...

Please not again !!

Traumatized TV Station programmer

Mark said...

God help us all.

Ronald from Guilford said...

What's wrong with the Republican Party? How can they even consider voting for this cold,fake,empty narcissist? The convention will just be one big circle jerk...... Again !!

Anonymous said...

Linda M is everywhere
She stands for nothing very well
When she walks into a room
Republicans are filled with doom
What she cares for no one knows
The Sexy Bitch rides all alone
Her empty phrases serve her well
She burns her cash like souls in hell
When on the trail she's cold as ice
Her managers are the three blind mice
She licks her lips for RTCs
As Mayors and members get a fee
For Linda M gives
Democrats 2 Senate seats and cold hard cash !

Linda Fakespeare

Anonymous said...

Linda McSpam didn't fair well in today's Yankee Institute poll. Murphy is using her to raise significant money in preparation for her eventual win at the convention. As for LWF, she can't buy a personality or a heart. The queen of hearts is actually the queen diamonds and that is all. Maybe Linda's wrestlers can rehab in LWF's Apple Centers.

Anonymous said...

Please give Linda the benifit of the doubt, she's worked hard and given much.

Anonymous said...

No more Linda period

Your Fired ! said...

Trump gave to Linda, wonder what that cost her?

Anonymous said...

Who's her campaign manager? Hacksaw Jim Duggin or was he a roid monger as well.