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Sunday, February 19, 2012

A Twitter Pic is Worth a Thousand Words (or Laughs)

Let's face it - we all know that most candidates and elected politicians DON'T run their own Twitter Accounts.  Take Linda McMahon, for example - can you imagine Lucky Linda reaching into her Mouawad Diamond purse for her i-phone and then trying to figure out which button to press to bring up the Twitter app?  The concept of Linda as a tweeter is simply Laugh Out Loud funny!  Ehr? Duh? What do you press, again? 

Linda's twitter bio claims that she's a proven jobs creator
That line is as tired, as it is untrue

I'm sure Yosemite (Tom) Scott will sit with her and force her try to send a tweet now, just so she can claim having had the real world experience (eyes roll). C'mon, get real - Linda probably doesn't even know how to work her own TV/DVR Remote never mind a bloody i-phone.  And she likely has a full-time college flunky pulling in $20K a month to propagate her boring dribble throughout the Twitterverse.  One might think she would have left the all-important tweeting task to her so-called Communications Director - but, of course, we all know that she's just an imported high-profile typist, who doesn't have the work experience to be anything more.

As for her twitter profile pic, it's the same old, same old.  Blue is the perfect color for Linda - it symbolizes her highly anticipated legacy of ensuring, not one, but two U.S. Senate seats to Democrats.  The blank stare goes with Linda as an empty vessel; big on rhertoric and general statements, but devoid of policy plans and specifics.  Linda serves as the perfect CTGOP Placebo for Connecticut's terminal condition.

And look, we aren't stupid enough to think that Chris Shays, Joe Courtney, Chris Murphy or even Meddler Justin Bernier run their own Twitter accounts either.  The only candidate-politician that we know who has the technological where-with-all is Christopher Coutu - and even he'll tell you - his smart phone never leaves his side.  While the Legislature is in session, he has to find some way to tune out all that confusing, fancy-talk from the podium. So he brings along his phone and ear buds to help him focus on more important things like ESPN Scoreboard, the latest Lady-Ga-Ga downloads, and of course - beating his own high score at Angry Birds
I love the fact that Coutu used the twitter profile pic file name:
"Coutu in Action". Be suspect of any policitian who thinks
talking at a microphone is - action
(who's the guy with the weary eye on him?)

Honestly, Coutu is a real trip.  He gets high points from The King for being the only guy up at the LOB who who can still funnel a six-pack of Schlitz in under a minute!  I mean that must be worth something to voters in Connecticut's beleaguered second district.

But seriously, I do bust Coutu's chops more than any other Republican in Connecticut, but that's only because unlike phony Linda McMillions, I actually like the guy.  Coutu is a perfect target for The King's humor because we know for a fact that we get under his skin.  If Republicans are to win back the Second Congressional District (the seat that American Hero Rob Simmons made famous), Coutu will win it in a last second three-point buzzer-beater.  If there are any upsets in the making - don't count Coutu-Mojo out.  He may be goofy, but he is an American Hero who serves his country with distinction and honor.  And he'd be miles superior to Twinkle-toes Courtney; who's proven to be a sell-out to Obama-visionGo get 'em Frat boy!

As I mentioned, politicians at nearly every level don't actually use the twitter medium to converse directly with constituents or supporters.  Only a select few actually do, and that's a rarity indeed - Mayor Mark Boughton almost immediately comes to mind as someone who will chat a few lines back and forth with you if you can catch his attention.  Brian K. Hill is another  guy who'll tweet you back when he feels it's in his personal interest to respond.  But by and large, politicians and candidates use twitter as a one-way PR transmitter.  But it still amuses me to people try like heck to get the attention of an automated bot. :)

Hill's profile pic is very good. But the large picture of
him on his Twitter Home Page showing his jacket buttoned over his tie looks silly (fix it!)

What's interesting is that while some candidates spend hours in front of the mirror each morning - caking on that foundation, and using more brushes and color than Leonardo da Vinci ever did, or making sure they have the perfect silk power tie to wow an audience - what's clear to me is that most candidates don't seem to care one iota about what their profile picture looks like to the Twitterverse; even when tweeted 30 times a day (and 50 times more across a half dozen hash tags.  Sometimes you have to ask - my God, do they know that they're using THAT pic?

I have to say that one of the more bizarre political profile pics on Twitter comes from Democrat Joe Courtney.  His profile picture is about as weird as it gets.  It sort of reminds me of a scene out the 80s B horror flick Motel Hell (shame on you if you've actually seen it).

What's the hell is going on here?

I mean this picture is a really weird.  You have Joe in a dress shirt, wearing a baseball cap, looking off into space, standing in close proximity to a John Deere tractor, with the backdrop of a scary looking farm-shed - a likely spot where all the bodies are probably hidden or displayed on meat hooks (just kidding).  Bottom line is there's just way to much going on here.  You could ask twinkle-toes a hundred questions about this photo and still not figure out what old twink is trying to convey here.

It's the kind of photo you would expect Ann Nyberg to use as part of her weekly add a caption segment.  Now there's a thought.

Next up is Rosa DeLauro's Twitter pic which is sort of scary - like Halloween scary.  Not only is it only visible as the tiniest thumbnail possible, but the mega pixel quality is as shabby as it gets.  And when you blow it up one size - you can't really tell if this is Rosa or Ronald.    

I'm still not convinced that Rosa isn't a Ronald.

I'm guessing that this picture was taken when she was clamoring for support of Universal Diaper Service for America.  Maybe it's more to her advantage that constituents can't make out what she looks like on Twitter.  Hell, if she can abandon her consituents for Italy during floods, storms and a statewide disaster, then what's a nasty twitter profile pic between friends?

Next up is old pal Lisa Wilson-Foley.  I'd say she looks like a million dollars in this photo but that would be an insult to a billionaire like her.   Fact is that she doesn't actually do her own tweeting. But you can tell - when everything - press releases, quotes to the press, and even tweets have that same distinctive sound and stench of EX-CHAIRMAN Chris Healy's dry writing style.  I have to emphasize EX-CHAIRMAN only because he seems to lose his wits and start to physically shake every time a reporter comes within 100 yards of him.  It must be a big disadvantage for Mrs. Foley to have Campaign Manager who seems himself as being a much bigger superstar than she'll ever be.  After all, Mrs. Foley is only as good as her deposit slip in Tutankhamen's bank account.

Pretty casual look; definitely a bad-hair day
Aside from the strawy scarecrow-like hair-do, this is a decent photo for someone hedging 60.  But as many of us discussed, we thought she'd go for the more formal CEO look instead of the head shot.  Well, at least she won't have to change her pic after she loses.  And even better news, it won't be the twitter pic which sank her.

As mentioned earlier, Mayor Boughton is a big tweeter, and actually a fun read.  He uses his account to keep Danbury's voters informed on a number of activities going on, and emergency related stuff too.  He's famous for keeping us informed of what his opinion is on television shows, music, etc.  He's so creative that he makes up his own hash-tags! Whoo Hoo!   As for his pic... well its not bad.  But this shot makes him look like a grown-up version of the kid who wanted a BB-Gun from A Christmas Story.

When I see this pic of Mark Boughton, I hear
a small voice inside my head yell, "You're going
to shoot your eye out!"
All in all, I used to think Boughton might be a great candidate for Governor - a silver knight in shining armor - but after he fell head over heels in love with Linda McMahon and delivered his reputation and soul to her - the shine almost immediately turned to rust; he sort of killed himself.  In this whole Linda McMahon catastophe, The King believes that when it's all said and done, and Linda goes back to Wrestlingville, it won't be Linda's reputation and future which will have suffered the most but Mark Boughton's.  There is more to this story, but I've been asked (no, begged) not to discuss it in The King's View (at least for now).  Meanwhile, tweet-away Mayor.  You might as well, since you're living your best days in politics.

Which brings us to the guy who's most likely going to end up as Connecticut's next U.S. Senator - if polling data continues to remain accurate (and Linda McMahon doesn't order an angle to have her wrestlers to jump him in the parking lot).  And that's none other than Democrat Chris Murphy.  I like the fact that he gives us a good smile, but the damn head shot fills up the screen, for God sakes.

If I were facing such lackluster competition,
I'd probably wear a sh*t eating grin too.
There is definitely something sinister going on in this photo.  I just can't seem to make it out yet.  Give me a month or two, and I'll have put my finger on it.

Hot on his heels is his only opponent on the Democrat side of the equation - Susan Bysiewicz.  I have to say that really dislike her twitter profile pic.  There is something inherently dishonest about a politician who looks down and away from you when you talk with them.  And you can't really tell whether or not she's smiling or wincing in pain in this shot.  And the side profile deal isn't doing it for me at all.

This shot is almost as bad as Joe Courtney's,
but its missing the Tractor
I've seen better shots of Susan, why this one was selected, I'll never know (I mean really, I'll never actually know).

Next up is Republican Christopher Shays.  His photo is a lot like Chris Murphy's - a big head shot, eyes straight into the camera, and a huge smile.  I like a big smile in a candidate these days because it temporarily relieves the massive migraine I get when I think of the outrageous disaster that President Obama has compounded, and the fact that Democrats running for office won't dare challenge him in public - even when they tell their friends behind closed doors that he sucks as President.  Of course, in crazy Connecticut, Democrats think he hasn't done enough damage yet, so they campaign on adding even more pain and suffering - to the sounds of thousands of union and state employee cheers.

If he doesn't get in, I'm sure Shays could do
Dentyne sugarless gum commercials
Anyways, Shay's twitter profile pic is one of the better political pics on Twitter.  But something tells me that Shays is so adept at knowing how to play poker so that you'd never know whether or not he was smiling out of pure happiness or smiling because he's about to unload 2000 pounds of TNT on the enemy's home base.  If I were Linda, and I saw Shays smiling like this and heading in her direction - well, you might want to take cover!  But seriously, great shot, but would like to see them back up a step and include the Power Tie for added professional emphasis.

Without a doubt, the BEST Connecticut profile picture goes to Wayne Winsley.  Winsley redefines the line from the ZZ Top smash hit Sharp Dressed Man. But seriously, if you haven't had the opportunity to hear Wayne Winsley speak, then you aught to check aught one of his radio shows. Wayne is one of the only true conservatives in Connecticut.  I can't wait to watch him school Rosa Delauro during a live debate - that ticket will be worth a thousand bucks!

It's unfortunate that Winsley is having a tough time cracking through the fundraising ceiling that seems to be a permanent fixture in CT-3 for Republicans.   Rosa Delauro is not only embarrassing to Connecticut - she's a national menace.  Republicans should be proud that we have Wayne Winsley in our ranks. He's not just another sacrificial white fuzzy bunny claiming to be a little bit of this, and a little bit of that; trying to tip-toe around the issues so as not to offend anyone.  Nope. Winsley is the REAL deal. 
So I'm ending this with the thought that this is another post, off the beaten path, which is sarcastic and about nothing.  I know there are far more serious topics to discuss, but after awhile you have to let the professional press step up and do their jobs, while those of us in the peanut gallery shoot spitballs at them all along the way.

For those who I missed, don't feel bad.  I might do part two in a week.  And time willing, I'll extend some additional bits of humor on a few more unsuspecting victims of extreme vanity.  So quick everyone - run out and update that twitter profile pic... before The King downloads it!!



This original blog entry can be found at
Disclaimer: This entry and others will be modified/updated at a future date. All entries are for the sole purpose of entertainment.


Anonymous said...

Have to disagree on LWF King, the amount of random quotes and innane crap retweeted on her account could only come from a mind as vapid as hers. Maybe she isn't in sole control of the account, but she has her hands on it sometimes.

Bob R said...


I too am disappointed in Mark Boughton. No one will give me a straight answer about why he's mixed up with Linda McMahon and Tom Scott. He needs to break away from corrupt people like them. Scott is a psycho who only gives a darn about himself. Boughton is better than this!


First Wives Club said...

As a proven job creator exactlly when and how did LWF get into the healthcare biz? Did she start it? Was it her husbands? If so when and how did he get into it ?

Anonymous said...

LWF or is it Lisa Wilson Healy? Hiring Chris Healy is like hiring Old Yeller as your seeing eye dog. Imagine taking a rabid seeing eye dog to the grocery store. LOL

Anonymous said...

Whether any of them run their own Twitter, Facebook, etc is not important. Finding out how they will represent us is of the utmost importance.
King, I hope you are wrong about Chris Murphy. Anyone wanting to understand how he will represent you only needs to go to and track the guy's bill voting/'s pretty insightful.

Baby Pegasus said...

Great article...I was laughing throughout the whole thing!! It really does paint a sad picture on how out of touch and phony the "Republicans" we have in Connecticut are. One day when I run for office, you will get someone to truly be proud of - a social and fiscal conservative with strong morals, spreaded knowledge, and a coolness factor.

Anonymous said...

"this is a decent photo for someone hedging 60"

Lisa Wilson-Foley is 52 years old a whole six months older than Andrew Roraback.

The King said...

Nah. Terrible photo of her. She looks old and blotchy. Don't like the shirt choice either. Of course, she and constituents probably don't care about how she looks. This is a silly point meant to draw a chuckle anyway. I was just surprised that she would opt for a photo that ages her by 10 years.

The King said...

Baby Pegasus - You've got my vote! CTGOP could use a coolness factor if we are to start to attract voters under 30. Maybe we can teach LWF to dress like Lady Gaga and sing "Bad Romance". Then again maybe that's a bad song choice given the history there. Yikes!