Our new baby has arrived!

Our beautiful girl has arrived! And she's as perfect as a perfect baby could be. We are both feeling unbelievably blessed by such wonderful fortune - particularly that she's healthy. What more can one really hope for?

Well, it's been an exhausting few days, so I need to keep this short (and catch some winkeye). I've been traveling back and forth from home to hospital because our other daughter - the 22 month year who requires naps, meals and attention, and plenty of TLC.

There's plenty to detail about today's meeting between the sisters and I hope to relate more (when I can think straight).

For tonight, I can thank God for the miracle of our newborn baby. The blessings don't seem to stop - particularly when you tend to take them for granted.

No baby, but the stars are aligned...

So as of this morning, we are about two days overdue as the "Baby Watch" continues...

As you know, I work with a significant number of Indian contractors, who are very interesting folks to work with (I probably should write a piece on that in itself - I will wait until after I attend the all day class my company has me scheduled for later this month at $500 a pop entitled "Working with India"), and several of them have recently had children over last year or so. Understanding the stress of the "waiting plight" for parents, one particular workmate sought to reassure me that everything is in good order and that the fact that the baby didn't come earlier than expected (or as thought) is actually a good thing. Apparently, I was told - last week was not a great week astrologically because "the stars were not bright enough", but this week and next week are great days. With days after this Sunday being the best.

I guess he and his friends had a situation last year, where they moved the induction dates for their babies arrival due to astrological warnings or star positions. I'm told this occurs frequently within the Indian culture. With all of this going on, it must create a logistical nightmare for hospitals in India on a regular basis. He did admit that the doctors do not think much of this practice, which I guess is a good thing since they deal with life and death where Ouija boards and crystal balls have no place - or at least better not if I ever end up over there laying on the operating table.

Well, I don't know much about astrology, and I have a hard time understanding what the scientific relevance of the brightness of stars, or their position in the sky relative to days of the year has to do with the birth of a child, but apparently in his world this has significant importance. Do children born on "bad days" have terrible lives? I guess so, he attributes birth defects to this happening. He tends to believe that Indians tend to look at this in retrospect - particularly when a child is born with a birth defect or breathing problem and astrological details suggest that a birth could have been postponed. Seems a bit like the reverse of Calvin's predestination. And sort of scary! Seems like adding guilt where none is required, and an excuse to ignore that its nothing more than statistical probability or perhaps even genetics.

Well, since in my case the stars are going to be shining brightly so I guess I'll just go with it. So we wait and wait, and can feel a sense of relief that last week was a crummy week to have a child and this week and next are just peachy.

Anything to keep the distractions from the anxiety of waiting! And no matter what we pray for a healthy baby no matter what the astrological consequences might be.

My first time working the Center position....

They say a referee always remembers their first time in the Center referee position - and that's probably true! My first center role was this past Sunday when I reffed a U-12 girls recreation league game in West Hartford. To say that its an eye-opening experience on what refereeing is all about would be an understatement! But I have to say that it was a blast!

Rec leagues in most towns are meant to serve as a sort of "developmental league" for up and coming soccer players (and probably some parents send their kids there to blow off some excess energy.) But its also a good developmental league for new referees who are trying to get their feet wet (like moi), and can get a sense of what's its like to be in the center, make calls and run the game as an official.

Coming fresh off playing role as the assistant referee (AR) for an older kids travel game on Saturday (and my first observations of what a referee should do or ask at the pre-game) I probably confused some of the kids because I sort of went on what I had observed the day before from watching the Center ref go through the pre-game motions - probably reserved for higher level games. Remember, there is no "training" for this sort of thing - you just "do it".

During the pre-game activity - I learned that at this level there are no player cards to inspect, or roosters and numbers to compare and track for substitutions, and even the coach's weren't even sure of who the home team was. As with any soccer game I did my inspections for jewelry, and I had a fairly comical experience - a few of the girls were wearing metal jewelry that has to be removed based on general safety rules. One girl was wearing a large sharp metal hair clip with a fine point on it, when I told her that she had to remove it, she asked me why, and I replied, "oh that's metal, someone could get killed out there." The girls realized my exaggeration, started mimicking me and saying, "oh, killed, someone could get killed." I sort of laughed to myself realizing that these 12 year olds were having fun with me, and I probably smirked a bit as they taunted me using the word killed a dozen times. I had forgotten how sharp and creative twelve year olds can be. So I just stood there and took my medicine politely.

Another girl looked at me and asked me where she should put her necklace, and I quickly replied "give it to your coach for safe keeping." Oh course, her neckless probably wasn't much risk to anyone else, but the rules are the rules and she could have had it broken on the field through contact with another player or by falling - anyway.

To further illustrate the mindset of the kids and my initial lack of understanding of the league, when I went to do the coin toss, I asked the kids who was going to be the spokesman - this is usually a player appointed who communicates with the ref about aspects of the game like who will take a kick, or whether they want a wall pushed back or whatever. I instead received the question, "what's a spokesman?" I tried to explain it, but the players serving as captains, sort of tilted their heads in confusion (sort of like the RCA dog sitting over the phonograph) and I simply said, "never mind" and flipped the coin.

The rec league game really opened my eyes to a number of things that I need to do to sharpen my own ability on the field. First, let me say that all of my bragging about going to the gym at 5 am and exercising for 45 minutes at a clip, didn't do justice to the hard work required to keep up with the kids, running back and forth at full speed from goal to goal, zig-zagging to and fro to try and stay in the right position. On one hand I have to give myself credit for keeping up with the kids for two 30 minute periods, but on the other hand I realize that I have a long way to go fitness wise before I don't look like I'm dogging it out there.

And all in all, it seems that these soccer games are very well attended. There must have been about 50 people on the sidelines observing all of the action. It was very surprising, and perhaps a little intimidating - because after all - they all have eyes too!

On the more important front - the actually calling of the game, I found it more complicated than I ever expected. For one, observing the movement of the ball and players up close and letting your brain process what it thinks it saw when at the split second a ball goes out of bounds is somewhat challenging - was the ball deflected, and off of who? And its more complicated when almost every time, the kids look to you to tell them who's throw-in it is. I observed that in the older kids games, the kids tended to know who got the throw in, and I assume that comes with experience, sportsmanship, and just trying to get the game back underway. From my perspective, few calls go overturned in the older kids' games since the players tend to "get it right."

I also found that nearly every time even after a call was made, after the point when it was determined which team was awarded the throw-in or kick - the kids sought direction from their bench as to which player should take the throw in. There were some lags because of this and kids looked at me and I would have to tell them that someone should take the throw in so that we can get the game underway. A few times, I offered, "Why don't you throw it in number X". As it is only developmental in nature, I can see where the kids needed some direction, but I also think they should have some lattitude to play the game without direction for each and every throw in.

Also, I was somewhat handicapped by the fact that I had only one assistant referee, so I I had to haul my tail down to one quadrant because I didn't have an AR to watch out for offsides calls, and I had to be close enough to the action and lines in that quad in order to make out of bounds calls. This made my first center job doubly difficult because offsides can be a tough call from behind the players (which is why ARs (linesman) exist, and why in ref school ARs are told to stay glued to the second to last defender) because of the awkward angle in which the players can appear to the center ref.

So, as time goes on, I'll expect that I'll become much better at quickly confirming (in my mind) who the ball came off of. Another issue for my own development is to use the hand signals more regularly. I tended to confidently yell "orange penalty kick" or "grey throw-in" but didn't use the hand signals in conjunction with the calls to indicate direction as often I as I should have. This was partly because I don't think I had it fully locked in my mind as to which direction the grey team, for example, was attacking. So I knew who's ball it was, but simply didn't make the signal to indicate which direction that the return of play should go in. This is something I need to work on, as I later learned that the coach's were looking for more hand signals from me. I think I was more focused on making sure that my possession calls were accurate.

I'd also say, I could probably use more sporadic use of the whistle. In class, they told us not to use the whistle when it was obvious that the ball "went out of bounds". So I tended not to use the whistle as much as some other refs might. The constant blowing of the whistle tends to make players ear deaf to calls where the whistle needs to be heard. So I'm trying to give it the right balance.

I know I blew one call, and that was a throw in at the second minute of the game, where one of the girls might have come up a little with her foot during the throw in, but by the time I realized I hadn't blown the whistle, the game was 20 seconds underway past that point, so I let them continue. My AR noted the throw in was a bad one because he mentioned it to me at the half. I said, "yeah I know, I missed that one."

My sole AR was in his second game ever as a ref, so the two of us were newbies and in one respect that was tough because you never know what you are going to get from such a young kid, but on the other - at least he wasn't a veteran picking up on every mistake I could have been making out there. He did a good job, although at times he was waving his flag around - NASCAR style - probably out of boredom. But he's going to be good, he was focused and was having fun with it.

At about the 6 minute mark, a defensive player pushed down an attacking player in the penalty area. Since advantage changed to the girl who did the pushing, I immediately blew my whistle and awarded a penalty kick for the aggression. Now, should I have issued a yellow card? I still think about it, and perhaps I should have, but then again I didn't want to go crazy with issuing cards - and only six minutes into my first game! Instead I looked at the offending player and said out loud, "penalty kick, you cannot push someone down on the field." The kick was taken and no goal was recorded. But I think me making the call helped with the game because the aggressive pushing stopped after that point, and I think I awarded only a few additional direct kicks for minor fouls during the remainder of the game.

Enjoying all of this, my wife came by with my daughter and snapped several pictures of me (actually shown above) "in action". This is sort of funny because I was so concentrated on the game, that although they had been standing on the sidelines watching me for twenty minutes, I didn't see them until about 2 minutes to the half - and I only saw them by chance because I heard a little girl crying, and I looked outward during a stoppage of play to see them both standing there. My daughter wanted to apparently bring me a dandelion that she had picked on the grounds and was upset that she could come and bring it to me.

At the end of the game, I added two minutes of stoppage time for delays - and all in all, I looked forward to blowing the whistle three times to signal the end of the game (grey team had won 3-0 in what was a little bit of a lopsided game). There was a feeling of relief that my first game had come to a close, but also a small feeling of accomplishment that I had gone over the hump and had my completed my first experience without being chased off the field by coaches or parents. (And particularly parents - most certainly after what I reported in this blog about Saturday's game where a few people were a little more than rude throughout the game, openly criticizing and demeaning the center ref, and causing a ruckus). Thank God, I had avoided all of that!

Risking all, I asked for feedback from the coaches (I didn't tell either coach this was my first game) and the winning coach said I did a good job , he only disagreed with one throw-in call I made but other than that he was complimentary. The other coach was only critical of my lack of hand signals, which as mentioned I need to focus on a little more in my next game. I thanked him for his feedback and agreed with him. He seemed a little annoyed that his team had lost, but I think that's just "being a coach". Hey, I feel the same way about losing. I'm just glad that the game wasn't lost or won on any of my calls.

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And lastly, boy that bengay sure comes in handy. Monday was one tough day as I recovered from two days of vigorous exercise on the field!

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All in all, it was a great experience! And I look forward to many more games so I can work on my referring proficency and enjoy "the beautiful game" from the best view on the field.

Sunday morning rant: biding the time as we wait for number two to arrive, and my first Referee report!

This expects to be a big week, with "number two" expected to arrive this week. But thoughts are now that with the due date of Tuesday, May 8th just on the horizon, that it could certainly go beyond anything that we might have had planned. We expected to go in on Tuesday, and by the doctors' initial thoughts, we scheduled the 8th as our "go-date". But after a visit with the doc this past week, we are opting to go natural, and let our little one come when its ready. Planning is always easier with a second child, but we are opting skipping induction and going for the full drama.

So as I expect the call at the most inopportune moment, I'll keep the car gased, cell phone fully charged, and ringer on full blast!

Notwithstanding the wait for the imminent arrival of number two, and on the orders of the spousal-unit, I kept myself busy! My lawn received its first trimming and cut yesterday, and I'm feeling the pain involved in deep knee bends, weeding, digging and trimming everything to death. And I bought a new "power tool" yesterday - a hedgehog. It's true what they say about power tools and guys - power tools are awesome! And now I know how Edward Sissorhands felt. Man! (Speaking of which - see the new adaptation stage show about Edward Sissorhands here.)

Yesterday, I also ref'd a game for the U-14 girls. Boy, one thing is for sure - the parents can be relentless. And when you play the role of assistant referee (formally referred to as "linesman") you get to hear the commentary up close and personal. So yesterday, I had this parent sitting in a lawn chair my quadrant (I reffed as Assistant Referee 2 [AR2] - opposite side of the team benches (aka the "technical area"). You know the type - loud, large, opinionated, critical - and what was worse was that he was an annoying Yankee fan (could tell by his hat). All the characteristics of "trouble".

During the game, he became very critical of the center referee over a few calls that might have been otherwise deemed fouls had they not be ignored in lieu of "advantage" for the team that maintained possession and was quickly moving the ball up field. The parent continued to make critical remarks after two close plays, and finally the center referee warned him, and told him that if it continued, he would removed from the spectator area.

I also had to turn to the spectator twice, and asked him to refrain from criticism. And it wasn't just talking, it was meant to detract from the game, and get other spectators worked up. Some of the banter is just that... but it was rude of him to make fun of the Center Ref's age and make comments that were downright derogatory. I told him "please not criticize the refs", of course he was so smart - he replied "oh, I'm just talking to myself.".

But I guess this is what you can expect. Other than that, I had a good game. I made a few offsides calls, and one was ignored by the Center Ref, which prompted our friendly spectator to offer further criticism of the Center - which he did by calling someone on his cell phone to tell the story of what he'd seen, but all in all - it was a good game - well played, and with no cards issued.
I think this "reffing business" is certainly the kind of thing where you improve over time. There is so much to monitor during a soccer game simply because the action is in constant flow with 22 players all doing their own thing across an enormous playing area, and lots of rules to enforce about so many things. It was a good first experience which I came away fully satisfied with, and I look forward to more games.

Today I will be taking on the role of Center Referee. I can only help that my brain and eyes are working properly and that I make the right calls. God help the kids, and God help me!

And for those who were looking for a follow up comment on yesterday's EPL action: As I had hoped, West Ham defeated Bolton 3-1, and Wigan fell to Middlesborough 1-0. Karma is coming back to haunt Wigan for trying to push West Ham down to relegation through legal action instead of through hard work and winning games. Keep in up West Ham! Today you sit at Number 17. Next week, you need to keep the pressure on!